Halloween Horoscopes

On the high holy holiday

Aries

It’s so sentimental right now. Emotions right under the surface. Late night purchases beware. You don’t have to start buying Xmas gifts now. It’s actually an excellent time to save money. By the way, don’t call the ex. Please repeat that to yourself.

Taurus

Liberace. Dolly Parton. Dr Bombay (circa Bewitched). Antoine Marie Carème. Bill T. Jones. Are they all Taurus? I have no idea but this is the energy you must bring to this week. A little showboat-y but in a way that all will know it’s in the fabric of your soul. It is pride. It is self understanding. It is ease with the pains of this world.

Gemini

I know I never have to exaggerate with you. I also know that when I suggest subtle, you hear me. This week is all about reading the room. Know what lies ahead with just the softest opening of your intuition. Let people talk first and reap the benefits of knowing a bit better.

Cancer

Coming up this next month starts planning today. Accept your f*ck ups. It’s okay. There is treasure in return in ways you thought you never deserved. You get a lot by being an adult through the weird emotional traffic you’re about to hit. Best part? You get through it and get to be the kind of exhausted you get after a full day at the beach age 7.

Leo

GURL. YES. After that I think you know what I’m going to say. You’re correct about the mess. You also do have to do some cleaning up. On the bright side, it’s an excellent time for abundance and love.

Virgo

Hey Virgo, it’s time to face it. Face it all. Your practicality must take a nap while you allow yourself to be the messy party girl that has no problem facing romance and exes and the world knowing they want love and flowers and lots of presents. Can’t wait to check in next week

Libra

Oh the audacity! This week you are the bull in the china shop but always with good reason. Your stubbornness on how you demand to be treated will come in handy this week—-not just for you but for everyone around you. You set some serious examples and find out whats been going on behind the scenes in places you felt scarcity.

Scorpio

Your mysteriousness that you pride yourself on is fiercely easy to see through this week. Is the veil thin? Well, kinda. This week it’s best to admit your vulnerability. It’s even better to give extra candy, pick them up at the airport, give to charity or buy extra gifts. Hell, just pick up the tab already. It’ll make you feel less naked.

Sagittarius

Please please please sit where you know you are from. Be exactly what you are NOT WHAT YOU WISH YOU ARE. In other worlds, celebrate what you are naturally great at and BABY WE’RE ALL GOOD AT SOMETHING. It’s a great week to learn what witches did in the town your bloodline is from and do that.

Capricorn

If you feel you can talk to the dead this week (which we all can but that’s for another time) and it’s usually not something you do, no surprise. Something about you Capricorn people screams a thinner veil. All I can tell you is, enjoy it! Celebrate the weirdness, the kinks, the messes. Honestly there are dead people everywhere.

Aquarius

Somebody did a great thing when they made pizza. Pizza is everywhere. In all its forms. Aquarius, be pizza. Be everywhere. Be helpful. Be there to celebrate everything from a kids birthday party to an office accomplishment. Show up at the baby shower when the canapés aren’t hitting the spot. After a hot date out of the fridge. Be the pizza in the room.

Pisces

Submerge your wonderful nervous system in anything that makes it feel good. It is a revamp of how you relax this week so all you have to do is get quiet and contemplate. It’s not a week for havoc, good or bad. Listen to your skin. Listen to the back of your neck. By all means, listen to what you REALLY NEED NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD.

Thank you for coming to my astrological TedTalk. See you next week!