Horoscopes heavy on the major arcana

I swear I shuffled.

I have a groovy offer. A summer check-in. It’s two 1/2 hour readings for $333. That’s a savings of $111. I can’t wait to see you!

ARIES

Goodness how time flies! You’re going to feel the passing of time this week. Big signs this week reminding you of people who have passed on, small meaningful moments and the feeling that you have LIVED. It’s important to make sure it doesn’t get ahead of you. You’ve earned every mile. Every mark.

Your card: Strength

TAURUS

Melancholy. Your bull like stance could easily move right into your blue period right now. Be careful to avoid a nasty spring cold. Your low key mood could be due to low immunity as well. Coddle yourself. Also, there might be an opportunity to stand up for yourself this week. That’s where you should put your energy.

Your card: Temperance

GEMINI

It’s become a mantra of all the financial coaches to say you should imagine yourself already wealthy. Just assume it’s coming to you. That works alright if you’re still doing the work. Or when someone asks if love is coming to them and do they actually have to make themselves available or can they just stay home. I usually tell them “Only if your heart is set on the Uber Eats delivery person.” Gemini, do the work. Do not rest on your charismatic and confusing laurels this week. Work double time. The pay off is big and you won’t see it coming until it’s in your lap.

Your card: Justice reversed

CANCER

You know, it’s okay to tell the truth. It’s okay to be vulnerable and it’s okay to admit your soft white underbelly. It’s a time to let a lot of things go—because they don’t last forever. It’s also a good time to face addiction, depression and just plain old sadness. Get creative, throw a party, make the better stuff in the world stand out.

Your card: The Five of Cups

LEO

I know you’re used to getting the flowers. I also know you’re so in love with the flowers that you have become the master of creating your own luck and Lion, it is your week for making connections, doing favors and making your empire come alive. Comb your mane, put on your lip gloss and start shaking hands you’d never consifer.

Your card: The Three of Wands

VIRGO

Girl, you are stubborn. You are also ridiculously relied upon to be so. This week release that garbage. Even if people are expecting you to be, let them down. Really work that unknown corner of the virgo road map and be the teenager. Be the somewhat, harmlessly irresponsible one. Be the easy breezy one.

Your card: Page of Wands

LIBRA

DO THE THING. STOP WAITING FOR THE SIGN. THERE IS NO SIGN. JUST DO IT. Have a nice day.

Your card: The Fool

SCORPIO

I don’t know what’s been on your mind but this week is not about the radical haircut, signing into a new insurance policy or blowing up any kind of relationship. Take a shower, take a nap and binge a new show. Try not to be a danger to you, your hair or your people.

Your card: The Sun reversed

SAGITTARIUS

I know everything is supposed to feel better now that it’s spring but really there’s often a grouchy discomfort in the changing of seasons. The body needs to adjust even though the eyes see green and blue and all the pretty vibrant colors it’s been missing. That said, this year please move with the seasons, Sag. You tend to love the structure of “what should be” but really you need to with “what is”. Which is the earth and your feet on the ground.

Your card: Queen of Cups

CAPRICORN

I can’t hide it. I’m a little concerned about you. I fear you’ll hide you access to gifts, bonuses and easy outs. I worry that you’ll feel the sand in your toes and worry more about a sand spider than have gratitude for the sun. Lavish yourself in the luxuries you have at your fingertips and try not to worry, worry, worry.

Your card: Four of Wands

AQUARIUS

Oh water bearer, re-fill the gorgeous grecian urn they always draw you with. You are tapped out and I think you’re a bit blind to notice. Refill the tank, Reuse good ideas, Recycle what has worked in the past. Next week we’ll need you ready to rumble.

Your card: 3 of Cups reversed

PISCES

You are on a high. Your goods are delivered. You vibe is what you need it to be. Feel exactly what you need to right now. I know you may not feel in the seat of power, but this is your week to be heard and understood. You’ve been waiting a long time for this.

Your card: Queen of cups

Thank you for coming to my astrological TedTalk. See you next week!