Horoscopes in the Catacombs

well, not quite but it's fun. Also, a special deal for my subscribers at the end xoxo

So I bought this gorgeous tarot deck in Paris. To be honest, I tried in vain to get to a groovy witchy store but between family and a short amount of time and the fact that every remotely weird store was in a direction that had nothing to do with our day to day, I almost gave up.

On the last night my daughter and I went to the catacombs, loved the hell out of it and there, in the gift shop, I found a deck. Not the back alley, witch experience I had hoped for but whoever is doing the merch for that shop is on fire. So much fun stuff.

When I got home I opened it up and wow, it was, I thought actually a cardology deck. Awesome I thought, I love cardology and this will force me to learn a thing or two. So I was about to write to you and do my channelings with my new homework but when I started shuffling….things got more, well, assorted/familiar/what-is-this/help me.

So I called my closest Tarot confident, Sasha Graham, and told her my story and started sending her photos.

It is actually a tarot deck. The major arcana, which makes it tarot for sure, Sasha explained, is there. The minors are in playing card form.

It’s actually quite a gorgeous deck. If I new it would be so groovy I would have bought a bunch of them and given them as gifts.

BTW, Sasha also explained the correlation between the card suits and the tarot suits.

hearts=cups, diamonds=pentacles, spades=swords, clubs=wands

Paris treasures.

And so, away we go:

Aries

Card: The King of Pentacles

Dude. If you were ever to feel like you’re going to have to walk into the room and make some adult decisions, this is it. Just remember, you won’t lose yourself in all of this. You are still the creative, high energy, chaos agent of love you always are/have been/will be. But you will be appreciated for taking the reins during this time. In the mess, you can see the logic. Be the mastermind.

Taurus

Card: Justice

You know, you’re not always right. You do like to sit back, watch and judge and the world needs you to be you but please be mindful of just how you play that part right now. There’s an energy in the air of instability that could really trigger your jealousy (everybody gets that sometimes) so try to be as fair as possible. Not just to those you’re giving the side eye but to yourself. Also, if you’re thinking of anything with real estate, now is the time.

Gemini

Card: Strength

Hey Gemini! Hi! You know that stuff you overcame? It’s cool. It’s admirable. Just don’t rest on your laurels as a way to avoid doing more cool stuff. The world is going to keep moving and there’s a bit of insecurity that could be coming your way. Yes, you got this but also use the most way out, groovy, weird ideas to motivate yourself. The status quo, that you have such an interesting and manipulative way with, is not for you. Interplanet Janet, baby.

Cancer

Card: 7 of pentacles

Oh crabby crab crab. How you have perhaps backed yourself into a corner! Sit back this week and reconsider where you’ve cut ties, burned bridges or made a stupid decision. Then right it, spell it out on a bay leaf and burn it, buy someone a gift and move on. You have a small tendency to romanticize regret. Fix it and stop holding it. You’ll lose your bloat so you can now molt.

Leo:

Card: Six of pentacles

As the Ann Reinking of the zodiac, people are always surprised that not only can you fill an entire stage but you are by nature extremely generous. This is your time to be so. It’s your secret weapon. Of course, be particular where you send your energy and money and talents but this is not a week to be skimpy. Petty is not the trend.

Virgo

Card: King of Wands

Rally the troops. Honestly, make them do what you want. I don’t want you missing out or going anywhere alone. This is a week of GROUP EXPERIENCES. Sure, you do like solitary adventures where you meet all the friends you can file into spread sheets for your Christmas card list but this week is support and going out and finding fun for all.

Libra

Card: Temperance

I mean what more can I say? I can say a lot more. The temperance card is not leading the read but I’m laughing that I pulled it for you. Balance, balance. Get it? Any way, the channeling says to sit within. Find it in your inner void and listen to it. There are outer space sounds in your heart and it’s time to listen to them. Those far-out ideas are are ready to roost!

Scorpio

Card: Hanged Man

Oh my god if anyone can hold a grudge it’s you. I MEAN WOW. I’m not asking you to give that up this week. It’s not my business and forgiveness has nothing to do with what you spiritual leader stay or what it demands in the bible. Apologies must be real and all that BUT it is a week in which you must deal with someone by putting aside an old issue. Give yourself a clear view and then later you can start getting pissed at them out of the blue again.

Sagittarius

Card: The Knight of Cups

Gosh I wanna hug you. Go make a blanket fort. Cut out valentines way ahead of schedule. Make soup for your neighbor. I wouldn’t buy the puppy without forethought but I would definitely get yourself something soft to cuddle. Yup, that’s your read for the week.

Capricorn

Card: The Empress

ROLLING IN THE DOUGH. Yup. I mean, you’re not unexpectedly getting too many jellybeans in the mail or anything like that but with some real assertiveness, money could be getting ready to come flying through the window. This may mean looking for a new gig or getting rid of stuff that’s just taking up room (things or people, you choose) but the abundance wants to start making roots with you. Make the magic happen.

Aquarius

Card: 8 of Swords

Make sure you don’t feel anything to binding this week. Opt out of stretch pants for something less constricting on your stomach. Anything that feels like it limits you whether is an outer force or something you previously can’t get over is ripe for leaving. This week deal with your stuff. Otherwise next week will feel twice as heavy. Honestly, this week will feel easy so walk the plank and kick it all into the sea.

Pisces

Card: King of Cups

I know you like to think of yourself as the most compassionate of your 11 siblings but this week, it could be tricky. Keep your emotional wisdom close to your chest and deal with your own bouts of insecurity to yourself. You’re also the most emo out of the signs and it’s okay to look at yourself by yourself. Be proud of your own views and the growth you’ve had to endure. You’re so kind to so many, give it back to yourself.

Thank you for coming to my astrological TedTalk. See you next week!

Super special for my subscribers: