I went away for a week and I walked on glass

that was the normal part.

My sometimes writing partner/sometimes writing muse Joey often tells me to start writing a story from the middle if I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know where to begin with this one because it was too good, too ethereal, too divine. There wasn’t exactly a beginning a middle and an end which makes sense as the work that was done on my recent trip was based on all things nature, energy and ritual.

It feels silly to start telling you about having a conversation this last May with a friend in the same business about how I needed a vacation without family or child or dog. It feels like it’s nonsense to say that she told me about this 5 day event in the mountains of Rimini, Italy and that we should go together. It does sort of make sense to tell you that the last time I was in Rimini was 20 years ago for a gelato conference.

But what I needed was a set time to jump and to let the net appear.

I wish upon wish that I could remember exactly how Sasha, my friend, pitched this event to me. I don’t remember how she described it and it would be an excellent part of the story because honestly I don’t think that description remotely scratches the surface. I’m sure it was as much as either one of us was going to get without going there.

It had to be a conference of occult and esoterica or the like. And it was. But as I always say, if I say the word “blue” what pops into each of our heads is going to be different.

I jumped on the invitation and we planned to share a room. I had to apply to see if I was accepted. In 24 hours I was accepted and the wait from May to October began. In that time my lovely friend had to bow out, I opted for a private room and come September I actually started to pay attention to what I might expect.

Photo: IG at nakedmoon

I looked at instagram tags from years prior and started to follow the event on the socials. The event, previously held for the last 7 years in Berlin, showed ritual and symbolism and blurbs about the history of the relationship between humans and occult. Art, academics, science. Perhaps a touch of what the uneducated would call satanic.

This would be the first time that the event presenters, The Fellowship Of The White Mountain, would be holding their event as a retreat. 66 people would be living together in a farm house now designed as an education facility. It was previously an Osho school which is a fact that we should all hide. For those of you unfamiliar with the origins of Osho, please research Rajhneesh, the cult leader. You can learn a lot from the documentary Wild, Wild Country.

All that aside, up the winding roads was the location. There were days where we were above the clouds. We looked down on the valleys of Emilia Romagna. It was truly the most random place with the most random group of people. I’m going to have to stop and pick this up again because a) I’m not sure where to go next and b) I’m exhausted.

See you in a minute.

It’s been longer than a minute but i’m back. Let me put it this way:

Every day the schedule looked like this: (Everything was optional. We’re all adults.)

yoga, breakfast, lecture/workshop, lecture/workshop, ritual, lunch, lecture/workshop, lecture/workshop, dinner, ritual, ritual or music or dance party.

I’m going to start this next length by stating that each ritual performed was from the person’s lineage. This was not a case of cultural appropriation. Everyone understood where their ancestors came from, as much as they could how they lived and what their ritual was like pre judeo-chrisian world.

This is one of the reasons —-or the reason—- I couldn’t see myself going to anything like this in the states.

As their were 66 of us living together in community for 5 days I didn’t get to meet everyone. Which was the only downside. I smiled at everyone, I said good morning or made some quip to at least everyone but I don’t know everyone’s story and damn I wish I did. Everyone really showed up. Got into it. Did brave things, did cool things, did silly things. All with the gusto of being alone but in a room full of us. It was vulnerable and so human. SO human.

This was for every one there, an education. When we went to the lecture on ancient astrology, or the study of the 7 spheres including the moon and the sun since no one could see the other planets and what were the sun and the moon anyway, we also learned about how belief systems were more about magick (the balance of nature) and love than faith.

“Then there is higher purpose. This has to do with the fact that being immersed in a spiritual dimension subjects our subtle bodies to a work of refinement, purifies them and gives rise to changes. We can have a mild example of this experience, reflecting on how we use our attention, what we focus on in our every day life. If your awareness is constantly focused on external events in the world, the news, social media, your experience will be of a certain type, it can be said that the collective unconscious is more capable of capturing you and making you resonate with ideas and emotions that are not necessarily yours but shared by many people. If instead you maintain contact with yourself, with the essence of things, with beauty, with nature, with what is right, you will be able to move in the world connecting to higher levels, finding faith, trust and creative solutions for yourselves. We are like tuning forks with resonate with what we tune into. This is not a New Age concept but a Neoplatonic one. Contemplate the world to see its essence adn you find this mostly in genuine places, in nature, in art, in everything that connects you to the anima mundi and the higher planes. Cultivating this path is the superior purpose of Astrological Magic, as probably of every magical approach. It is an approach that is beyond our ego, which makes us want certain things rather than others.”

This was from the lecture. Given by Sabrina Mancini, a Florentine astrologer and professor. Please excuse punctuation, grammar. There are a few different layers of translation going on. You get the point

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When we went to a lecture on Magikal Thinking Not Equating To Conspiracy Theory, we talked politics and when on earth did our kind of practices equate to QANON? Since when did vaccinations for polio become bad in spiritual circles? We spoke about our dismay, about world politics and activism.

There were those there that were scholars of Aleister Crowley. Those that were just so into all things occult they didn’t understand why I was there. Honestly. One conversation went like this:

A guy named Peter (I think):“You’re a psychic medium? Why are you here?”

Me: “Isn’t part of the occult the symbolism of the work I do?”

Possible Peter: “I thought mediums were into really off the wall things.”

Me: “Really? Like what?”

Peter: “Like aren’t you all into aliens?”

I laughed.

Peter: “So are you into aliens?”

Me: “Well if they showed up in person and they were hot I’d be into them.”

Peter and I became dance buddies after that.

There were lots of tarot readers. I fell in with a few astrologers. I was fascinated. Perhaps the best astrologers I’ve ever met. They were each fastidious about every degree, every slight turn and movement of the solar system. It was math and science and astronomy first and foremost. The accuracy was insane.

At lunch one day I went to sit with a stunning couple that I’d notice in a few lectures. We introduced ourselves and when asked why they were there/ what their practice is, they answered: “We’re Druids. Our tribe is the indigenous people of the area that is now The Netherlands”. Internationally they keep contact with Native Americans as fellow indigenous tribes. We had a conversation about the book Braiding Sweetgrass and the state of relations between cultures in America. They told me about monthly meetings they have on Zoom with Druids all over the world.

“What do you talk about?”

He shrugged. “Druid stuff.”

We are all the same.

One of my favorite people with whom I laughed a lot through classes and rituals and meals was a Siberian shaman. She and her husband had been to the conference in Berlin and had to come to the retreat. The Druids said the same. There was a true trust in the event runners that I appreciated and grew to understand. Everyone felt held.

During a ritual held with the broken glass of the wine bottles of the local witch, I walked on glass. During another one I bore witness to a pre-christian polish/lithuanian ritual that was so intense I started to sweat. The chanting went into a throat singing that made the room vibrate.

A practitioner of somatic exercises, there to help us remember to stay in our bodies and trust the community and space, held a ritual to Hecate that had us dancing. Crammed into a room just big enough to fit all 66 of us but not for much else. We had coins to give as we went to the underworld.

There was more. It was a lot. I’ll most likely approach this event on this page again. I was asked how this experience will affect my work. I think I’m more accepting of how it is a part of my DNA. I’m more accepting of how it’s communicated into the world. I’m definitely more comfortable in my body about my work. It was magical to be in a space of blind acceptance and support. I think people in my work don’t get that often if at all.

This last week has been a lot and I appreciate you all having patience. I’ll be back with my weekly horoscopes this week.

xo, H