Obituaries and how we remember our dead

Not how you remember me after a late night but not far off

I’ve lost a lot of people this year.

I saw an obituary about one of them and it didn’t tell me anything about them that would be included if you asked me about her. Of course it included all the things that systemically we’re supposed to hold high in standards and accomplishments in a patriarchal world. But it’s dry. Humans are juicy.

So I’ve decided to write my own. For her and a few others who are worth my two cents—-they, of course, are worth far more.

It also occurred to me that when you go see a medium, you get to hear the story after the obituary. And maybe that’s why as I’m dong this work more and more, dealing with the fates of my loved ones and of the clients that come to me for some sort of ease of their grief, I don’t think we ever really die. It’s just the body.

And so the important things are really not the accomplishments that we do but how we interact with people.

Here are the obituaries of three of those I’ve lost this year. Some I haven’t seen in quite a while but all made me take pause, feel my heart and think of where they sat in my life when they were present and current.

Before I start, I’d like to thank them for adding anything interesting to my wonderful, painful, glamorous, nasty life.

Dorothy- Dorothy came into my life with acceptance and adoration when I didn’t think I deserved it. She let me easily into her world without judgement of any kind. She was a stunner. The kind of woman who was gifted genetic advantages but also the kind of presence you stopped to look at in National Geographic. Photographers wanted to take her picture. People wanted to know her. She wanted to laugh with you in her kitchen while eating out of to-go boxes. Once while staying with her for the weekend, she left a diaphanous evening jacket in the closet of the guest room letting me know it might be perfect for me. It was stunning. Dior or the like. I'd like to think I just forgot to take it because damn I wish I had it but honestly, I didn’t have it in me to accept something so thoughtful. Also, we had a joke about prunes.

Jeremy- Jeremy was the kid brother of one my close friends during my college years. He was super smart, super lovable and nerdy as all get out. He was the little brother you didn’t mind tagging along. He remembered the weirdest details about you and trusted the world would catch him if he fell in the same noble way a dog does. This by no means I’m calling Jeremy a dog but his life instincts were different than of those around him. I don’t know what advanced adulthood looked like for him but I heard he was married. A mutual friend mentioned she was glad he wasn’t alone in life. I understood that because he was such a singular person. Isolation wasn’t bad for him but he loved big and a lot.

Karin- Karin was the one person I’ve ever lost that looked the most like me in an archetype. She liked to mention all our similarities and it used to make me uncomfortable but she wasn’t wrong. She loved to buy gifts and the most random stuff would come in the mail from her. A pink dress, a rose quartz bracelet that I thought was a necklace. We laughed a lot and helped each other work wise in a way that I can’t admit I’m living without now. She would want me to tell you this: I was the first to diagnose her. I’m not proud of that but I told her to get to the hospital immediately and stop working with chakras and healers. I was scared of what I saw. She loved that I told her what had to be done. I thought I had more time to see her before she passed but really I was in denial. I couldn’t afford to travel to see her. We met on a zoom meeting another medium was having with 400 person audience. That medium gave me a huge gift. He read that we should meet. He also read that Woody, one of my closest friends that died a few years before, would help. Karin always knew her fate. It was wild. I was always in awe of her. She knew her power.

I may continue to do these here and there.

Here are some horoscopes:

Aries- it’s THE Olympics not your Olympics. Being competitive this week is highly not advised. It’s a much more strategic time for you. I know I bring that up a lot But this time, particularly with the highs of new senses of hope in the world combined with the more interesting threats of the world, it gets very personal for you so let’s not make it worse by getting competitive.

Taurus is easy and short, be sweet and forgive.

Gemini-this week is about all things, shiny and things that are beneficial to the world in front of you instead of jumping in and getting a little bit crazy about having fun. If you can do a little bit something slower and for the future, this is the time to do it because more big purchases are coming soon. It’s more of a shiny outlook toware your future, actually. Cancer is all about the home and taking care of what matters. Right now its about taking care of what’s immediately around you. You don’t look too big, too wide.

Leo- it’s Leo season and I think the new moon is in Leo right now as we speak. This is a very mystical time for you— no surprise because of what I just said, but in general, even beyond that because there are the things that sort of go on and then there’s more earthbound, more human things that go on and it’s all magical right now for you Leo —it’s a good time to go for things really trying to go for for a while —things that you invested in or you’ve planted your seeds. Don’t expect anybody else to pull the trigger other than you it’s all about you just go ahead and do the thing

Virgo as a friend of mine said Marie Kondo it if it doesn’t bring you joy. You have to put it aside or get rid of it. This is a big time for purging getting rid of things ie: going through your closets. I know Virgos love those things. It’s about organizing and it’s really about the cleanliness of the people around you —like the energy of people around you and making sure everybody supports you as best they can.

Libra- You’re gonna feel kind of buried in anything remotely resembling paperwork. I mean, you could really feel this way even standing near a tree, but read through all of it. Sign off on it. Don’t let it sit but then again don’t let it get read by another pair of eyes. Do anything that has to do with red tape paperwork contracts in a proper thorough, adult way.

Scorpio- It’s time to deal with a lot of anything that has to do with romance and head. If you were holding back, approach it and talk about it. Walk right into it.
Possibilities of a lot of coziness and a lot of love in a comfortable space so you don’t have to feel too vulnerable. It could make you uncomfortable, but just anticipate vulnerability. You’ll get through it stronger.

Sagittarius- this is a tricky time because there are a lot of possibilities for you to be triggered from anything from childhood. It’s basically we’re just getting the dust at the back of like the physical closet, the spiritual closet, the emotional closet. Just keep yourself in the moment and remember that you are the adult that you have become now and to remind your inner child of that. Please do so feel free to talk out loud. The way it’s going now everybody’s talking to themselves anyway.

Capricorns- watch your nerves. Watch the nervous system. Go slow. Be kind. If you’re in a situation where you don’t feel good. Excuse yourself come back again. Be very paced. Watch out for things like high blood pressure and anything else in your body that gets emotionally triggered. Sometimes is eyesight, sometimes it’s a tick. Just keep an eye on that stuff.

Aquarius- everybody’s gonna want your sage advice this week. Everybody’s gonna be coming to you. You’re gonna feel completely at home it. Don’t let it get overwhelming, but basically you are Gandolf of the world right now— the big old wizard everybody’s gonna want your magic.

Pisces— I keep getting the word gifts —GIFTS AND PRESENTS— both as objects and as what your gifts are. The needing, the giving, the taking THIS WEEK. Don’t spend too much money on gifts by the way. That is definitely for you because I know who you are, you are generous people all of you fishes so just be mindful, give freely but frugally.